days of summer: portland part 1

i'm so excited  that i have a moment 

to blog about our unforgettable trip to 

the oregon coast this past summer.

we had such a fantastic time, we hope

to make it an annual summer trip and

as the kids get older, there's no limit to the

fun that can ensue!

our first stop was to shop til we drop at the

woodburn shopping outlet. with it being back to school

season there's no better way to shop than with no tax!

anybody else feel like busting out an outkast song?? lol

we spent most of the afternoon/evening getting all of our shopping

out of the way so that we could enjoy the rest of our weekend

actually enjoying oregon.

i will say, it was the best decision we made because

we saved hundreds of dollars on tax and

took advantage of some great sales!

the next morning we went out for breakfast to a charming 

little place called slappycakes but while we waited

for our table, we took a stroll around a little

food truck park and built up our appetites reading the yummy menus!

finally our table was ready! and it was time to make

some delicious pancakes right at our table.

the toppings we chose were blueberries, bananas, chocolate chips,

pecans and whipped cream. i foresee us re-creating this

experience at home very soon! 

once our tummies were full, we ventured over 

to downtown portland to grab some donuts at voodoo donuts

before we journeyed to the coast.

man, there is just so much to explore in downtown portland!

we will have to plan another trip where we stay

here and visit everything this city has to offer.

funny story about the above photo, while following directions to

voodoo donuts, we quickly discovered that there was a morning

farmers market going on and every street we had to turn on was closed!

argh!

charming little eating area next to voodoo donuts!

the girls having a moment while we waited

in the voodoo donut line up

it's food truck city over there!

the walls are sparkly!

with our donuts in tow, we started making our way to the coast 

and had to cut through this pretty amazing tunnel.

quick hold your breath!

the drive was absolutely stunning, the trees were

towering!

and before we knew it we were at cannon beach!

stay tuned for the fun!

can i be split in half?

for the last few weeks,

i have felt like i can't divide myself enough

between my 2 girls, and even more

so now that my oldest has spoken up about it.

parents of two: help!

recently emma has talked about how

she feels like i spend all my time with olivia

and she feels like i love olivia more than i love her

*heart broken*

of course i don't love her less but it's

been challenging trying to explain the needs

of a 2 year old since in emma's eyes her baby sister

is capable of doing everything she is.

she feels like she's reprimanded for more

and olivia gets away with more (uh oh, insert 

older sibling syndrome) i remember

my sister always got in trouble and i as the

baby didn't.

is it too much to explain that when you're 6

you should be proud that you're more independent

and don't need help getting dressed? or that

school review comes before the bugs bunny and tweety show?

or that mom and dad expect good active

listening?

*sigh*

i feel like a broken record these days and

pretty much the only thing i can come up with

is figuring out activities that her and i can do

that gives her more time with me

and she feels there is balance.

any thoughts?

Guest Post: A Personal Experience with Mesothelioma

in my previous post i mentioned that

i received contact from a reader asking that i

share her story of battling cancer.

with the recent chain of events, i couldn't

help but feel like this is something i was destined to do.

without further ado, i welcome Heather!

here is her story:

Finding out that you have cancers is one of the most devastating experiences that can happen in your lifetime. I know, because I've gone through this harrowing event.

Just 14 weeks after giving birth to my child, I found out that I suffered from a specific kind of cancer. It's called malignant pleural mesothelioma cancer and is a cancer that attacks the lungs. It usually happens after exposure to asbestos. I had it, even though I had never worked in asbestos factory or even been in a building with asbestos insulation.

Most people can't believe that I contracted a type of cancer associated with this material. After all, they usually think asbestos was banned decades ago. After they get over their initial shock, a lot of people wonder where I was exposed. The truth is that asbestos has only been banned in some countries and in some very specific applications; the material is still used. My exposure was through my father's work clothes.

My dad worked in construction as a drywall taper. That meant that he cut, sanded and handled products that were made with asbestos. He brought the dust home on his work clothes, but it also found its way into his car and many areas of our home. This apparently harmless white dust was actually full of billions of tiny, dangerous fibers.

It was actually very unusual for me to receive a diagnosis in my mid-30s. Most of the people who end up with mesothelioma are older guys who have worked in construction or factories. A significant percentage of them got exposed in the military. Female patients are usually the wives of factory or construction workers who were exposed while doing the laundry.

Of course, working in a school or other building that contains a lot of asbestos can also harm you, as can being exposed to a parent who has the powder on his or her clothes. I was among the first of a generation of mesothelioma patients who found out their cancer came from their parents' jobs. Hugging my father when he got home from work, and putting on his white dusty jacket to feed the rabbits is responsible for my exposure to asbestos.



The more time I spend in the mesothelioma community, the more I get to know other young patients. These people are in their 20s and early 30s, with careers, children and marriages. It all comes to a stop when they find out they have cancer, however. Mesothelioma can completely derail your life.

The good news is that many new treatment options are available for people with this disease. More people survive it and go on to live their lives free of mesothelioma.



It's true that it can be devastating to find out that you have cancer, but it isn't the end of everything. Like other patients with this condition, I hold onto hope and share my experiences with the community. We're working to support each other, increase awareness and reduce the risk of even more young people hearing those tragic words: “You have cancer.”

if you are interested in learning more about
mesothelioma, please visit Heather's website:

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

forever in our hearts.

it's taken me a while to bring up the strength to write this

blog post today.

not even 3 weeks ago a family that i

only really know through high school and only because they 

were in my older sister's grade, lost their sweet 4 year old girl

Phoenix to cancer.

seriously. FUCK cancer.

i never met her, but learned about her through

her mom's photo posts and just like anyone else,

admired the little girl and her uncanny resemblance 

to her mom.

it was very easy to observe that she was a fiery one,

full of personality and doing everything a little girl is supposed to.

when we all learned she was diagnosed with leukemia,

we were nothing short of hopeful.

progress report after progress report,

i added little Phoenix to my prayers. and when i learned

she had been reborn into the spiritual world

my heart broke.

i didn't have to know her to know how much she

meant to her surrounding family and even how much

she meant to me, though we had never met.

as a parent, the thought of surviving my own children

is unfathomable. from birth you make a promise to yourself

and to your little one that everything will be alright and

you'll keep them from harm's way. but the truth of the

matter is, sometimes we do face circumstances which are beyond

our control. no matter how much a parent wants to

protect their child, there are things that we just cannot.

and in these circumstances we cannot feel defeated,

we must press on.

it's been surreal. in the days after the funeral i found myself

in a daze, constantly wondering if her mom and dad are okay.

incessantly searching on social media for a sign

that they are okay. i don't know but what i do know is that they

are surrounded by love and most importantly surrounded

by Phoenix's love.

the interesting thing for me, is that i've heard or seen her name

in random things around me. the book i started reading talked 

about a man who lived in Phoenix, AZ. my husband told me about

a friend who will be visiting Phoenix, AZ. and then, i randomly received an email

from a blog reader asking if she could use my blog as a channel

to tell her story about being diagnosed with cancer and surviving.

all of this means something, to me, at least.

i believe creating awareness sends more positive

energy into the universe: something we all could use more of in our lives.

for Phoenix, if you would like to learn more about her life and 

journey you can visit http://loveforphoenix.wordpress.com/.

to the danger family: she is always with you,

where ever you are and we are all here for you.

Phoenix, I will always think of you! Thank you

for igniting a spark in me. <3

***

My next blog post will be featuring Heather a mesothelioma 

survivor sharing her story and creating awareness. I would greatly

appreciate your support!

today, this girl is 30.

we're finally here.

 i have a whole 30 years behind me that cannot be

undone.

a life of fun, laughter, tears, anger, heartbreak,

love, hatred, sadness & joy. also, childbirth.
twice.
(ow.)

some people say actually everyone says it`s all
down hill after 30. or is it 40? anyway, i choose not to
get sucked into that negative way of thinking and believe
that there are greener pastures ahead.

and actually, i think it's pretty sweet that i've accomplished
so much in the last 10 years even. today, i walk into my 30's
with a family i built all on my own.
a wonderful and loving husband with whom i share a marriage
that continues to grow as we learn not to tear eachother's eyes out from each other
everyday (just kidding hun, i love you!)
and 2 absolutely amazing little girls with
personalities that prefer to test me  shine
equally as bright even though they are entirely different.

 my family has also expanded.
i've watched my sister bring my niece and nephew
into this world and couldn't have been more lucky than
to share this life changing moment with her and my brother in law.
it's crazy to think that years ago she would have given me a black eye
 been upset over borrowing a shirt without asking and now,
she's like, my best friend.

i've inherited my husband's family as my own.
a sister whom i've watched grow from a girl to
a woman and a mother to a sweet daughter whom
i'll have the pleasure of seeing more of now that
mama's back to work. and i have another mother,
who dotes (probably more than i'd prefer, but i know
it's out of love! lol) over us and would move mountains
for her granddaughters.

i see my parents, now older than the image that
i have in my head of them. they've now become grandparents
to 4 very rambunctious grandchildren.
you're welcome.

i started a great new job last year and from that i've gained
a lot of different experiences, gone back to school and made
some really great friendships.

all of this and i just turned 30. now what? i'm going to
disneyland!!! just kidding. i don't know. but what i do know
is that i have plenty to be thankful for and i know in my heart
everything that it took to get me here.

oh i know!
i know i'm going to love embarrassing my kids as they get older!
i know that i'd love to travel to italy, just me and my hubs!
um, i know i'm going to love my new townhouse when
we finally move into it!

well, in true mama style, i've compiled a bunch
of photos of myself through the ages..

welcome to the world jzabela rozalia!

me and my moms

my first birthday!

no, i'm not sniffing the doll, there's a sharp pointy thread sticking out

on the bottom of this doll's foot and i'm rubbing it against my nose!

i don't know what to say about this picture really, except

look at my sister's face LOL

ahh preschool! look at those dangly earrings

grade 1! i remember this jogging set and that it said

'lace' on the front and i also remember absolutely 

hating the pants.

a visit to disneyland just isn't complete without personalized

sailor hats and spandex.

no comment.

our trip to poland. i was just shy of 16.

whoa, now i get why people said my mom, sis and i 

looked like sisters.

we rocked the short 'do cuz it was cool, okay?

my 19th birthday!! self tanner FAIL!!! totally remembering

having a self tanner mustache after this night.

24 years old and in labor with emma. yeah, that was gonna

take a loooooooong time.

she's finally here!

first time mama with her baby...miss these days

we spent a lot of hours on that rocking chair!

maw and paw at emma's 1st birthday

me and my mini me feeding ducks at the pond!

having a beer on our wedding anniversary trip to victoria

my assistant helping me decorate a cake..

en route to our first disneyland trip!

verrrry pregnant with olivia!

at olivia's baby shower

insert hugest sigh of relief that was a tough labor!!

mama and baby olivia

christmas time with olivia!

reading, a favorite past time with olivia

mama slowly getting her groove back!

stand in mama for my nephew's mother's day tea

me and my mini me at disneyland!

me and my handsome at the beach

mama and olivia sharing a kiss in oregon

completed a 5k race!! have lost 10lbs and i'm

gonna keep going! watch out summer 2013, i WILL

be debuting a bikini bod!

and now to announce something new!

 on my birthday, i am officially launching my new cake company:

{the cake mama}

a name i can tag to all of the wonderful creations

my friends and family ask me to do!

to visit my brand new website, click on the image below!

happy birthday to me, indeed!!!