counting my blessings.

it's been a month since i've started
working for our city's children's & women's
hospital and now that i've become
ever-so-slightly comfortable at my new post,
i've had some time to reflect being here.

when i started, i really didn't know what to expect.
work is work and that usually all there is to it, right?
well not here. it's a multitude of feelings
that surround this place that makes it not just a job.

here, we prepare specialized medications for
the tiniest of tinys -the ones struggling to stick
around and discover this place. we also
help the children that get really really sick
for a while and get better and get to go home.

we also help the children that get
really really really sick and are hoping to go home.
-and the ones that never do.

we help moms and moms-to-be prep
to welcome their little ones into the world.

sometimes, we stop to give directions
wandering visitors with tears of joy
 and sadness.

happy, sad, anxious, angry, frustrated,
hopeful, fearful, joyful and relief are probably
the most common feelings but the one thing
that i feel when i come into work everyday is:

blessed.

blessed that i am in good health and have
the ability to be kind and compassionate to others.

blessed that i had relatively smooth and uncomplicated
pregnancies and deliveries.

blessed that i have 2 incredibly amazing
and healthy daughters.

blessed that i have a life worth living
and that i have the drive and aspiration to
live it to its fullest.

it's the simplest things in life
that are so easily forgotten.

i invite all of you to take a moment
to count the many blessings in your life!

can i be split in half?

for the last few weeks,

i have felt like i can't divide myself enough

between my 2 girls, and even more

so now that my oldest has spoken up about it.

parents of two: help!

recently emma has talked about how

she feels like i spend all my time with olivia

and she feels like i love olivia more than i love her

*heart broken*

of course i don't love her less but it's

been challenging trying to explain the needs

of a 2 year old since in emma's eyes her baby sister

is capable of doing everything she is.

she feels like she's reprimanded for more

and olivia gets away with more (uh oh, insert 

older sibling syndrome) i remember

my sister always got in trouble and i as the

baby didn't.

is it too much to explain that when you're 6

you should be proud that you're more independent

and don't need help getting dressed? or that

school review comes before the bugs bunny and tweety show?

or that mom and dad expect good active

listening?

*sigh*

i feel like a broken record these days and

pretty much the only thing i can come up with

is figuring out activities that her and i can do

that gives her more time with me

and she feels there is balance.

any thoughts?